"Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!" - Amanda Bradley

Saturday, July 04, 2009

hardcore fireworks


Everyone left Jerrie and I to our own devices and all I can say is eat my shorts MTV and jackass. We started off pretty slick, Jerrie was ensconed in her chair with a fine and tasty drink (lemonade with cherry vodka) and I had all the necessary explosives ready to seduce and impregnate mother sky.

We started off with a little light stimulation, 24 shots of slimline vibrator goodness in the form of the gigantic saturn missile battery.

Commencing through a few drinks and older fireworks from a yesteryear pack we discovered how a little reminiscing always makes a good date.

(At this point I would like to insert that our "safe and sane fireworks" bought at a stand that supports a local charity kicked the living crap out of all our neighbors stuff!!!!! Which they bought at the reservation-take that dillweeds, the white guy won again!)

We came to the Red White and Bling-which is a new favorite! It has bling, as Jerries facebook states, and is, for 20.00 a Helluva firework.

By the way, Jerrie says the new cherry vodka is "fabu!"

But then shit went a little south of the border. All the way to Honduras in fact-Obama watch out!

Once seduced, mother sky turned angry cause we didn't hit the g-spot, and the After Dark kicked over and after a fine shower of sparks it hit me in the thigh, shot the neighbors garage, parted Jerries hair and exploded across the street. All in all a helluva thing! Fire in the hole!

But it all ends well with Jerrie getting an order over the phone for explosives ASAP!!!

All in all, to those who dissed us for this 4th! You missed it!

Happy patriots day, remember the 4th is for the average American-all those politicians can go sit on a stinky log!

Remember Jerries question "I want this mango rum-what should I do with it?" My reply "drink it!" Life has never been so simple-so go blow shit up.


  1. After the Mango Rum thang Troy would not break into the fireworks booth and get his lovely wife a little more bling....I just want some more bling baby!!!

  2. Yep, nothing like a night of explosives and tasty cocktails!

    Happy 4th!!


  3. I'm not sure if I need a flak jacket or a condom after reading that. LMAO! WONDERFUL descriptives! Love it!

  4. I'm glad you both survived!!! and, Troy, watch your language! Love, Your Mum

  5. You got in trouble from your mom, bah hah hah ha hee hee.
    She's right tho.
    And where is Jerrie? Bring her back.
    Drag her in from the backyard and make her post. No more Troy, please.


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