"I am a lapsed pacifist, please hand me the gun and ask again."
"you have reached the irregular apocalypse, please state the precise nature of the catastrophe."
"Luckily, you are a victim of the low ambient morality coupled with my prosthetic conscience, so please don't take what I am about to do personally."
"The philosophy of determinism is only valid if you believe in the lack of everyone else's ability to decide for themselves."
"He lived vicariously through himself and once had an awkward situation just to see how it feels."
"The ethics gradient of this particular psychosis is due to an unfortunate conflict of evidence and a series of unlikely explanations."
"This paradox of yours has a contradiction. But, luckily for you, conventional wisdom is ravished by the sheer implausibility of your last statement."
"Sir, you suffer not from any mis-statement of medical science but instead from a severe and advanced case of chronic patheticism."
"I have no choice but to assume you have been only lightly seared on the reality grill."
"another fine product brought to you by the nonsense factory."
"If I stopped talking someone might actually get a word in edgewise and then where would we find our selves? No where fast, and with a significant shortage of gravitas, that's where."