WELL!.....I NEVER!

No really, I never did THAT......(well maybe a little bit.)

What is my excuse?  I can only hope to claim ignorance, but unfortunately my ego won't let me so I will have to make up an excuse so I can take the blame for something I never did.  

But it is truly a conspiracy, most likely led by the internet.  You see the internet is designed to make you insane.  Under normal circumstances the definition of insane is repeatedly doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  Like looking in the fridge for something to eat every 30 seconds.  Nothing new has appeared since the last 12 times you opened the door, why do you think it will now?

However the internet changes all of this.  Oddly you can press the button and get a 404 error, or perhaps a server refused error, or any number of odd notions that basically tell you "no this won't work, so you better go tell someone."  But if you press that button again for a long enough time you will in fact get something different!  Often what you intended in the first place!  But if you try to show someone, then the error message appears once more, completely invalidating you and causing even your most ardent admirers to wonder if perhaps the giggle factory has produced another fine product-you!  Yep, a conspiracy I say.  Ring, ring-"Mmmmm..Hello, you have reached the irregular apocalypse, please state the nature of the emergency."

But on a less serious note I would like to jump on the professional bandwagon.  Lately I have heard news media, entertainers, artists, doctors, scientists, financial advisors...pretty much anyone with the ability to get a degree.....tell the world that what they do is important and that amatures should not be mucking about in this very important business that they do.  It seems that they are pissed that the internet is spreading too much opinion and not enough fact (made up the degreed).  Well along these lines I too would like to pipe in and ask people to leave history to the professionals!  It is very important that you don't go mucking about in the past!  So please-think of the children!  Stop remembering and reminiscing!  You could throw a frontal lobe or sprain a membrane, you could....gods forbid....mis-remember something!  So please please just put down that memory and back slowly away.  There now, everything will be okay.