"Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!" - Amanda Bradley

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Truth

Folks, I have to warn you about a conspiracy that threatens to take over and change the world as we know it. I am talking about the brussle sprout invasion. I have long known that brussle sprouts are the advance invasion force for a nefarious race of brains. You have seen some of these brains here on earth directing this massive undertaking. They are commonly called cauliflower, although brussle sprouts call them master-which you will too if you are not careful. Ingesting brussle sprouts will lead to all sorts of health problems as you slowly loose your mind.

Now I know what you are saying....if they are aliens how did they get to earth? They came in asparagus space ships. The ingestion of asparagus is nothing short of eating non-terrestrial cargo haulers. This is the reason they make your pee smell funny. However asparagus are the space ships with which the cauliflower masters and their brussle minions will return us to their home planet as slaves. Artichokes are the true colonization ships. These massive vegetable ships are used to carry the seed genetics of this dominating race to the stars. Many planets in our solar system have already been totally subsumed by the horror of these aliens.

The final proof I have is pluto. Once a planet. Then an asteroid, now a plutoid. This is the kind of twisted thinking that can only come from creatures such as cauliflowers.

So I call you all to arms. Do not eat any of the above vegetables, keep your mind clear and free thinking to save the human race and keep us from being the slaves of these diabolical beasts. Only you can help prevent alien possession.

PS-squash and brocolli are just gross, but okay to eat, they are not aliens, just funky ground fruit and small trees. If you must eat an alien put LOTS of butter and fresh ground pepper on them, and preferably LOTS of garlic and onions. These preventatives are poisonous to these horrible creatures and will make sure that you are not affected by their horrible mind control powers.

Good luck and godspeed-together we will save the world one bite at a time.

edited: the views expressed in this post are not necessarily (or at all) the blog holders views. These are the views of her vegetable-phobic/paranoid/delusional husband. I'm just saying. 


  1. Thank goodness I read your blog! So far, I've only ingested corns, peas, carrots, celerys, green beans, and the like. I've not had any dealings with those scary veggies that you've mentioned -- at least NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE!

    I just realized I could have accidentally eaten some of them somewhere and not even KNOWN!

    I have to go lie down now and ponder this.

  2. As soon as I scrolled down and read the first line of this post I knew it had to be Troy's ramblings. Grow up and eat your veggies, you big baby! Hah!


Comments are great. They are like the Grande, 2-pump, Cinnamon-dolche, non-fat latte of the computer...Really! Thanks for the bloggin' coffee!